Since I was a teenager, I have enjoyed writing poetry as a way to express my emotions. After we lost Jack, I found myself writing again and very frequently. I have compiled here the poems that I have written in the past year. As you read through these poems, you should know that the further down the page you go, you get closer to the early days of our grief. My most recent writing, reflects my feelings towards carrying our rainbow baby Owen. I also have sporadic moments when I write about whatever has stricken me at the time. I hope you enjoy these poems and that they bring you some solace if you have lost a child. Please feel free to share any of my work, all that I ask is that you leave my name as the author.

You Were With Me
By: Emily Hughes
When I sat in the hospital,
And the doctor gave me the news,
That your heart had stopped beating,
That was when I knew,
You were with me.
When I cried myself to sleep,
And my milk came in,
And there was no one to feed,
And my heart was wearing thin,
You were with me.
When I had empty arms,
That didn’t hold a child,
An empty crib in the room,
My anger went wild.
You were with me.
As the holidays past,
And the special moments came,
And we didn’t have our baby,
And it just wasn’t the same,
You were with me.
As I sit now with your brother,
And I sing to him your song,
I know you’re both my sunshines,
And I know that all along,
You are with me.

A Different Kind of Parent

By: Emily Hughes
We are all different kinds of parents,
But we share much of the same.
We loved our children dearly,
From the very moment that they came.
While your baby might be with you,
Every day and every night.
My baby is with me,
In my heart I hold him tight.
As your eyes are feeling weary,
From very little sleep,
My tired eyes are blurry,
Because every night I weep.
When you hear your baby giggle,
Or you glance there sideways smile,
I am sitting quietly,
Remembering– for a while.
While you are building a family,
With your little one in tow,
We too are still a family,
We wanted you to know.
As you make memories together,
Christmas, Birthdays and more.
We are honoring our baby,
To help his spirit soar.
So you see, there are different kinds of parents.
Each loving, in their own way.
While your child grows to adulthood,
Our baby is here to stay.

A Poem for the Broken

By: Emily Hughes
I am a broken woman,
Held together as if by thread;
Made of love alone– taken too soon
By the hand that takes the dead.
My pieces all still function,
The joints and bones still bend;
It’s my heart that misses rhythm,
My heart that will not mend.
I know that time brings healing,
That it brings pain from flames to ember;
But time does not dictate
What I will or won’t remember.
Even though life moves on,
And new joy comes to my heart;
My broken pieces will still ache,
For my one.. missing… part.

Our Boys

By: Emily Hughes
You will never get to meet each other,
Or walk hand in hand.
There will be no games of hide and seek,
And no playing kick the can.
No late night ghost stories,
Hiding beneath a sheet.
No brotherly advice,
About why girls are really neat.
But brothers are always brothers,
And I know in some small way,
You will find a way to guide each other,
Through each and every day.

Will You Come Home To Me?

By: Emily Hughes
Will you come home to me?
I wish that I could know.
I wish I had a guarantee that
I will see you grow.
Will you come home to me?
I want to hear your cry.
I want to know if you hair is brown
And whether or not you’ll be shy.
Will you come home to me?
I want to kiss your cheek.
I want to take you to the park
And swim with you in the creek.
Will you come home to me?
I want to hold you in my arms.
I want to feel the weight of you
And protect you from any harm.
Will you come home to me?
I desperately want you here.
I want the hope you fill me with
To give me strength against fear.
Will you come home to me?
I wish that I could know.

A Christmas Poem for my Baby

By: Emily Hughes
Oh sweet child how you have changed me,
Down inside my deepest core,
No longer am I young and carefree,
Standing on the ocean shore.
For the brief time that I held you,
And the time that you held me,
We developed something special,
We made precious memories.
As the season’s have come to pass,
And we’re brought again to winter time,
I can’t help but want to ask,
“Why god? Why did you take mine?”
So my baby, for you this Christmas,
I have but one special wish,
Know how much your parent’s love you,
Know how much you’re deeply missed.

Silent Tears

By Emily Hughes
After all the months of sorrow,
After the many hours of pain,
What is left of ourselves is hollow,
What is here,  is never  the same.
When at first we were quite vocal,
And many stood to hear,
Those who would listen have moved on,
And we are left with our silent tears.
We cry when we remember,
We cry when we forget,
We cry  until our tears run out,
And we cry because it’s all we have left.
While the world continues turning,
And the weeks turn into years,
We are mother’s forever mourning,
Shedding silent tears.

You Are Not Alone

By: Emily Hughes
While your heart is truly breaking,
And the dark is closing in,
While your arms are plainly aching,
I know the place where you have been.
I know that empty feeling,
The milk that none will drink,
The scars that bring no healing,
The “what if’s” that make you think.
I’ve walked the path you’re treading,
I’ve begged for my childs return,
I’ve lived the due date you are dreading,
I’ve had reminders that make me burn.
So while you are deep in grief,
While you cry at night on your own,
Let it bring you some small relief,
That you are not alone.

A Moment

By: Emily Hughes
Take a moment,
To Remember,
All babies gone too soon.
Take a moment,
To consider,
That this could happen to you.
Take a moment,
To respect,
Those who have lost their heart.
Take a moment,
To understand,
How their world fell apart.
Take a moment,
To speak,
On behalf of a parent in grief.
Take a moment,
To listen,
About our babies lives, too brief.
Take a moment,
To light a candle,
And spare our babies a thought.
Take a moment,
To be inspired,
By how hard our babies fought.
Take a day,
To honor,
Those lives lost in unfairness.
Take a Day,
To Acknowledge,
Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness. 

On Friendship

By: Emily Hughes
The true test of a friendship,
Comes not when times are good.
The true test of a friendship comes,
When we need to be understood.
When our life is upheaval,
And we are shaken to our core.
A true friend can reach out to us,
And offer something more.
A true friend offers comfort,
A safe place to voice our woes.
And they can listen without judgement.
Because heaven only knows.
A true friend offers simply,
No complexities, no  strings.
They do not offer empty promises,
And expect in return no things.
A true friend loves us wholly,
Every piece, Every part.
And when you are in need of it,
They will help you mend your broken heart.
I am lucky to have true friends.
Who have been there, through it all.
Who have held me up in my weakest times,
Who didn’t let me fall.

My Missing Piece

By: Emily Hughes
A piece of me is missing,
This much I know is true.
I walk around in an empty life,
Wishing we had you.
I can feel the hole in my spirit,
I can feel that empty place,
Where I know that you should be,
Where I should see your smiling face.
And I keep trying to think,
Maybe today it will get better.
But everyday there is something new,
This pain will last forever.
While people want me to move on,
To find peace, to quit wishing.
I can’t help but to love you,
A piece of me is missing.

Little Boy
By: Emily Hughes
Written for Jack Everett Hughes
Little boy, you took our breath away
the day we found out about you;
Our hearts and minds were racing,
We couldn’t believe it was true.
The ultrasound confirmed it,
your little heart was beating;
And that was when we began,
To look forward to our meeting.
We did everything we could,
To make everything just right;
Your mommy even threw up
Throughout the day and the night!
But you had your own plans,
You decided to come early;
And when you got to the NICU,
You showed the nurses you were surly.
You fought so hard… for so long…
You truly showed us all;
What it means to be strong.
But when it came time,
When you could no longer fight,
We said our goodbyes,
One last good night.
While we miss you everyday,
And struggle to maintain,
We know that you are peaceful,
And free of any pain.
So please know that we love you,
Our precious little boy,
And keep us close to your heart,
Because you brought us so much joy.
Love and Loss
~If my tears could fill a river, they would carry me to you;
If my sorrow was like thunder, everyone would hear;
If my heartache was like a cave, it would be forever deep;
If my sadness was a field, it would stretch far and wide;
If my anger was like fire, it would burn, burn, burn;
But my love, my love for you is indescribable, and undeniable;
My love for you is never-ending, all-consuming, and it keeps me whole;
When I seek to fall apart, your memory binds me back together;
Your memory sustains me, and I can make it through;
But if my tears could fill a river, they would carry me to you.~