The Life and Times of our Preemie Boy

When I think back on all the things I was nervous about when it came to motherhood, I would like to respectfully laugh at myself. The things I was afraid of like diaper changing, bathing and feeding are so routine now I can do them while living on 3 hours of sleep. It's the things I didn't know about or think about that scare me the most now.

We never could have known Owen would be born a full month early. And while I did try to read up on preemies, it always brought me to a sad place as it reminded me of Jack. So I will admit, I didn't read as much as I probably should have. Now we are coming upon some of the concerns a parent faces when you child is born early and has made it out of the NICU. Things like developmental milestones and whether or not he's reaching them, and what to do about when to start solids because technically, he's just turning 3 months old. One thing I had not considered until more recently was the gauntlet of the cold and flu season.

Our pediatricians office called us the other day to inform us that Owen qualified for a special shot to help protect him from the RSV virus. The injection, called Synagis, provides a baby with the antibodies they didn't get from their mother when they are born too soon. It's not an immunization, as it wears off and you have to have repeat shots done every 28 days. I had never even heard of this nor did I know to be concerned about RSV until now. I knew he was sensitive to illness due to the severity of his lung disease when he was born, but I didn't know he could contract a cold virus that could turn fatal. That FREAKED me out.

So like the good germophobe I am, I am now on full alert. We are trying to figure out if the insurance will cover Owen's injections. If they do, he will get them at Children's Hospital. Meanwhile, I plan to plaster signs on our door warning people not to come in the house if they are sick. And heaven help the sick person who sneezes next to him if we go to the store or something. YOU WILL BE HAND SANITIZERED by me.

I may be being a bit dramatic but you know what, I have a right to be. Owen can't tell people not to sneeze by him. He also can't walk away from someone or wash his own hands. That's up to us as his parents. And by golly I'm gonna do the very best I can to keep him from getting sick. So much for worrying about diaper changing......

Finding Joy and Peace

As Owen's 4 month birthday comes up next week, I can't help but to reflect on this past

year. It was this time last year that we had no idea whether or not we would ever become parents again. I had just had a procedure done to inspect my uterus and ovaries. We had had all the tests come back telling us I had MTHFR. And of course, we were still missing our baby boy. I remember at that time thinking, "where will we be in a year?" and I'm happy to say, I'm glad for where we are at.

It certainly was not an easy journey. In fact, it seems like nothing Dustin and I ever do is easy. But we made it. And I think that should offer hope to others. If you suffer from MTHFR, it is possible to have a healthy baby. I'm walking proof.

And now comes the inevitable question of whether or not we will go on to have more babies. The answer to that? I really don't know. I'm not exactly good at being pregnant and my poor body has been through an awful lot in just 14 short months. So for the time being, I think we are just going to enjoy Owen and continue to honor Jack as best as we can. I cannot say what the future holds for us. I find myself yet again wondering, where will we be in a year?